In order to make an Apple Pie...

In order to make an apple pie...

Clichéd I know, I also don't care. I seized the chance to test out my rib recipe, which I didn't even have created until Friday the 13th at about 4:30 PM. usually to be a good chef you have to follow the rules to then be allowed to break the rules, but I've never followed the rules and I'm a good chef, and the only rule I've followed is 'red means hot'. Everything else to cooking isn't sacred to me, never has been, that's why I whipped up the currently secret recipe of 'Pawesum Soz' my BBQ rib sauce which contains a whopping +25% Alc. Yeah... It should of course be no surprise that that due to that fact and my methods of extreme care taken in cooking my ribs where a friend of mine said 'I'm waiting for you to start massaging them' wound up winning me the cook-off for my squadron. believe me, I'd LOVE to work as a chef, but I couldn't innovate unless given the chance, thing is all I do is innovate, recipes are sins to me....unless it's baked goods, that would just end badly.... let's leave how to our collective imaginations then shall we?

(insert gratuitous pictures of meat)

Mine are in the lower right corner.

Anyway, because of my innate cooking abilities, yes I'm bragging, and my Pawesum Soz, I'll be competing at the base level for $1,000.00 USD for my squadron, here's hoping that these are awesome enough to win it. Even if I don't win, second place would be fine, never really done any sort of a cook-off before, and I don't know whether I'm still drunk on the sauce, or my ego has swelled to gargantuan proportions, but I'll do the best I can and try to win it.

speaking of doing the best I can, well here's hoping the future proceeds according to the plans of whatever mysterious stranger is at my back, be it an angel, a chief, a colonel, general, or god himself... I couldn't tell you how many chances I've had all I know is that I've well exceeded my second. I don't know whether to laugh, cry, be thankful, or to become paranoid and believe that I'm some plaything of fate living in a castle in the sky. and if all we are playthings of beings dwelling in castles in the sky why has nobody noticed? Are we so tied up in lemon drops and gumdrops that we can't recognize the sugar floss binging us to the paper cone that is reality? I know, strange analogy, but I'm in a very strange state of mind right now, I have no clue if I should be relieved, hopeful, or keep up my typical cynical veneer? well cynicism has served me well thus far so I'll just wait to see in which direction the great taffy puller moves me.

Ok, enough with the ham fisted candy analogies...there's a mental image! Ham fisted candy....

I'll just keep my typical cynical self as the primary front and just plan for both outcomes, and of course the un-seeable third and fourth, whatever happens the future will be fun. And I'll try to stay upbeat about anything I do between now and then, whenever then is. Isn't that the one all encompassing question? What happens then? that has to be it doesn't it? What happens when we do, move, learn, love, laugh, and die. What happens then? does it really need to be such a metaphysical question or can it be something so rooted in the stone of logic that nothing can effectively grasp it? Perhaps not even then, maybe it doesn't need to be grasped, or what we can perceive is so massive that to us it's immovable and all encompassing, but to the next level there is something else? I'm reminded of the world tree, Yggdrasil, it grew with its branches encompassing Asgard, Midgard rooted around the middle, and Hel near the bottom. To what then was Yggdrasil rooted? As the 34 stanza of the Poetic Edda states "on that tree of which no man knows where it's roots run" begs the question, if the world as we know it is supported by Yggdrasil, what supports it? Which to me begs the question and simply put, 'Once we have perceived all the universe what then?" That is the question of which I speak. as Carl Sagan said "in order to make an apple pie, you must first create the universe", as far as I'm concerned that can be taken to mean that you can't understand anything without understanding everything.

Take from this what you will about me, but I hold no illusions about the future, the present, or the past, after all to grasp the concept of an illusion you must first grasp the concept of reality, and when things are so fleeting, so ephemeral as to said that they barely matter or have barely existed at all, can you honestly say that you know what reality is when you're bound to only one form?

Differences

Things really have changed here over the last few months, and no, this isn’t more navel gazing or self-reflection. As you all know the 9.0 earthquake and tsunami struck the northern coast of japan closer to two months ago and while things have returned to a slight sense of normalcy, at least in places, in others the differences are profound. Last weekend I went down to Shibuya as I will every so often to take pictures of the city, the sights, sounds and people. At first glance things did appear to be normal, thousands of people crammed into a very busy intersection with people running in all directions at once, groups of friends gathering, chatting, or just chilling. You wouldn’t think that anything negative would have occurred such a short time ago. So I walked around taking lots of pictures visible here http://www.flickr.com/photos/58409124@N03/ http://verseless-photography.com/ http://www.verseless.deviantart.com/

Note, none of them, or at least very few, are actually of the city, that’s for a reason. Sundown finally came and I set up my camera at about 15 till, and I start to look around expecting the lights to come on any second hoping to get some great pictures of the city and people. Maybe a few nice low light shots. Possibly a good spontaneous portrait or two. The sun goes down behind the labyrinthine cityscape, the last copper hues of the sunset fading into….dark? The city was dark, for Shibuya anyway. The closest comparison that I can give to it would be like standing in Times Square and all of the billboards, all of the video screens, were turned off. And that’s exactly it, all of the video screens, all of the advertisements, the brighter streetlights, even shop lights were deactivated to save power. Now, I am unsure of the exact state of the infrastructure here in japan right now, but I know that since the Fukushima Daiichi plant got hit life appears to be at least a little less colorful in Tokyo.

People have been through worse in the world, and thankfully Tokyo just seems to be rationing power, no daytime lighting on the trains, or air conditioning at all, no heated seats either, small little conveniences that I’d begun to take for granted now no longer evident in anyone’s lives. Might just be my observation, who knows, maybe they’re flawed, that could be. But to see all of those bright, comforting, and saturating lights and sights just gone….it made me feel like something had been lost. It made me remember that everything we’re doing to help these people will actually have an effect. It may be years, it may be decades but to see Shibuya return to its former shining glory will be worth it at some point. A transformation has taken place in the nation of Japan and they’ll never be the same. The lights will eventually return, the glitz and glamour will be back to inspirational levels at some point, but for now things are subdued if only in some degree.

I wouldn’t say that any of this has been inspirational though, that word just doesn’t cut it, to apply such a finite word to a series of events such as these, to apply such a word to the relief effort that started the day it happened, the month of nonstop support that numerous nations provided and continue to provide still, the coming together of branches of numerous militaries, raid organizations, and even firefighters from all across the globe coming together to forge a cohesive response force well within a month to help these people, is not inspirational. It… is… legendary. It’s not about medals, news coverage, a renewed sense of responsibility, strong senses of pity, regret, conscience, or anything like that. It’s that almost jubilant feeling of pride you get hearing that perhaps barely intelligible ‘thank you’ from people that genuinely have many things to be thankful for. I’ve only ever personally received the smallest part of that, one lone man telling me that we’re ‘big hero country, thanks for what you do.’ I can only imagine the kind of thanks that rescue workers deserve and received when they helped those directly affected by the tsunami.

If you’re coming here don’t expect all the ultramodern conveniences that have been touted for years, even some basic amenities are still hurting, come here expecting the warm reception of a thankful nation and from those truly in need. If you’re leaving here, like me, then I hope that you’ve received a sense of pride that you’ll never forget. Those who leave may go on to do great things, but remember, the greatest thing that one can hope to accomplish is to have been deserving of a simple ‘thank you’ from one you’ve helped however indirectly.

Still here.

Still here, still in, more to come. But finally my website is up and running, so go look if you wish. Will post more/ elaborate later.

http://verseless-photography.com/

http://verseless.deviantart.com/gallery/

I'm going through changes...

Well, I’ve been going through some changes in my life. I know what you’re thinking.. ‘He’s hit puberty finally!’ Ah…no…no that’s not it at all you jokers you. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching since the 11^th and since the 13^th as well, just about everything in general. I’ve slowly begun to realize that some motives I’ve had have been more petty than anything else, and that’s going to change, no seriously. I’ve realized that while I’m not a medal chaser, or a skirt chaser my goals in being in have been for positive recognition. Actually got my ego sated the other day when during a talk with a Japanese man he called the United states and I quote ‘you USA you big damn hero country, thank you.’ It broke my heart to not just be able to say that well ‘im getting out’.

So there it is I am indeed getting out, sure it’s early but I was never a good fit as a mechanic, and hell I know it, Doesn’t mean that I didn’t try to do my best and to be a positive force at work. Who knows maybe it’s for the best for everyone else. I don’t know about everyone else though. For me, I’m still searching for ‘the best’ for me and I’m going back to photography to try and find myself. Yes I said it I said ‘try and find myself’, and I don’t mean in a washed out and dropped out, do a lot of illegal drugs manner. I’m legitimately going to try getting a job as a photographer and I am actually already in the process of job hunting and resume/portfolio building. I’ve already begun to pad my portfolio with pictures from Ueno Park and the Imperial Palace. That coupled with some of the other work I’ve done, while not likely a plethora of selection, I believe quite strongly that it is a varied and strong portfolio. All I need is a little more portrait work in it and I’ll be fine.

If I could have done thing differently in my short career in the military it’s this, put my foot down. I shouldn’t have debated it with my recruiter, I should have gone for photography hands down, and that’s it. While it’s nice being stationed as a mechanic in Japan, I’d much rather do what I love at my job, instead of only loving parts of my job. Though I will say this, I did encounter an actual ‘work’ side to my photography over the last two days in the editing and post. Nothing could have made the editing and marking of 1229 pictures any easier. Things have been made easier though as I’ve got a good friend that has decided to let me host a website on his server and that’s exactly what I am doing. Once the site is operational you can find me here.

http://www.verseless-photography.com/

Yeah that’s right verseless photography. I’m a brand now people. Right now the site just has a mess of redirect and search links on it, but that’s because it isn’t operational yet, right now my goals are thus, network, commercialize myself, and sell my work either solo or to an employer. Now…that said, if anyone wishes to purchase any of my work before the site goes operation shoot me an e-mail at tower.007@hotmail .com and we can talk. So here’s my flickr link http://www.flickr.com/photos/58409124@N03/ and here’s some gratuitous (and watermarked) pictures.

Dinner

This was my dinner tonight, thought I'd share it with you all. Please note the only seasoning I used was fresh ginger. Any seasoning additives you wish to use will work, feel free to improvise. I never follow a recipe.

1lb Kobe Beef (Any cubed steak will work)

3 Bunches of LARGE Spinach leaves

Light extra Virgin Olive oil

2 Containers of Beef Stock

2 Bok Choy/ Celery bundles

3 Large Carrots

12 good sized button mushrooms

1 Large Sweet Blue potato

Fresh Ginger root

Cabernet Sauvignon

Start by grating some fresh ginger into a dish with the Cabernet Sauvignon add 1/2lb cubed steak into the ginger and wine mixture allow to Marinate for 30 minutes

Slice carrots, Bok Choy, and Sweet potato into largeish slices no thicker than 1/4 inch.

Start the beef stock on a burner on medium heat after adding the vegetables all at once. Let cook until stock starts to boil.

reduce heat once boil starts and add steak. allow to cook until carrots start to become soft. Allow to cook for 10 minutes form this point then serve

coat the bottom of a large frying pan with the Olive oil, Allow to heat for 30 seconds, then add the marinated steak, cook as desired. Finish by wrapping the steak in spinach leaves.

NOW

Now that you know what I had for dinner. We're all doing fine here and you won't see me writing any more about the goings on on base. Just know that we're all safe and sound here helping Japan to get back on their feet. The best source of news is at www.yokota.af.mil Now please...stop freaking out.

In Direct Support

Sendai lies in ruins, the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear plant is going down the drain, damage estimates past the 100 Billion Mark, 977 deaths so far, 170,000 evacuated, and I have never been more inspired by the United States Air Force. It all started after the 8.9 magnitude earthquake on Friday one of the most massive quakes to my knowledge. All we felt here was moderate shaking and well I thought that was it, most of us did, oh we were so wrong. The same day of the event our wheels started turning on a massive relief effort to help our host nation of Japan. Here I am on day +2 after the Sendai tsunami and we are generating airlift. They call it Operation: Tomodachi or friend in English, a more fitting moniker there could not be. Already help is arriving for the city of Sendai and affected areas, US Marines From across Japan, navy detachments from who knows where and more Air Force support at this base than I’ve ever seen in my short time here. Yet this is Day 2, the veritable tip of the iceberg, if past efforts of the Air Force are any indication we haven’t seen anything yet.

So far we’ve just been making sure that the planes can get up and go picking up essential material for the rebuilding to come and the shelters now, planes flying everywhere nonstop, supplying everything basically. In the days to come I expect to see massive coordination with the Japanese Military and civilian organizations, something on the scale of Katrina back in the states. I’m sorry but I must disagree with my brethren that are against what we’ve done so far to be perhaps overly hospitable to the units that we will likely play host to. We may not consider ourselves heroes by turning wrenches, splicing wires, and fueling planes. But for each plane we send up in the next couple of months, each plane I send up makes us all heroes to someone.

We may be in the initial stages of this as of yet we aren’t heroes to anyone on a large scale yet nor will we be soon, those of us in the maintenance group will likely never see ourselves as heroes if we look at the small limited scope of our own job and career field, we are one, we are one force working together to generate missions that will help Japan to rebuild, never have I dreamed that I would be in direct support of operations like this, nor did I want to be, who actually wants a massive disaster to happen at all? This is the time for humanity to show the best of itself to help our fellow man; our darkest hours will forge our brightest days. Maybe not on a grand scale, but those that care about it still think fondly on the Berlin airlift, and while we may not be dodging Soviet fighter jets, this is going to likely be one of the most massive Airlifts since then, it’s already getting massive watching something like this grow is absolutely inspiring to me as a junior Airman. I can only imagine how the decision makers are feeling now; stressed, worn out, yet hopefully like myself they’ve been inspired to persevere and to make an effort to help our hosts.

These are going to be some hard times, we’ve got to buckle down, do our jobs, get to work and never forget that Humanitarian relief is part of what we do, this is why we are here. When given a chance to shine, how you respond and what is in your heart when you do so will determine the effectiveness of what you do. It will determine the memorability of what everyone does, and will reflect on how the world views us all. Some people will be working because they want to get a Humanitarian Relief medal, others because they wish to be called a hero, not me. I will be out there fixing planes, changing parts, and making sure the mission goes. Not just because this is my day job, but because I feel that this is the right thing to do, there is no doubt in my mind of that fact, so I ask you out there…

How would you respond?

DISCLAIMER: The contents of this blog are not the Opinion of the United States Air force or the Department of Defense. The views expressed there in are solely those of the author.

Justice?

With recent events that have transpired tonight I find myself asking if justice has been done. Who knows maybe it has, maybe it hasn’t. I’ve received the punishment coming to me and I am unsure if it is fair or not. I know that punishment of sorts can be light every now and again and this time it feels that way, admittedly being restricted to base for 30 days hurts me quite a bit. I won’t be able to photograph at the Fashionweek and because of that I will not be able to take the pictures and sell them to (insert name of fashion magazine) so I can kiss a very conservative few hundred good bye right then and there. And oh yeah, the Cherry blossom festivals so yeah I’ll need to get creative with my work on base in such a way to edit out any overly identifying features and still produce high quality work that I intend on selling.

The other hit comes in a demotion; it’s mostly the symbolism that hurts me the most. Sure I’ll be losing roughly 5,000 USD over the course of the time it’ll take to gain my rank back but if I play my cards right with photography I can make more than that. Huge IF there. BUT what really hurts me is the symbolism of being demoted, and it is the commanders reasoning that ‘I cannot be trusted’ that really hits hard for me. I have tried hard to prove that I can be trusted; I always try to show that I am a good person, and that I have personal responsibility, but being told that I can’t be trusted stings. It’s hard to not take that as an insult but I must look at things objectively and from my Commanders view point. I realize that punishment was absolutely necessary in order to instill the proper behavior, but to be called untrustworthy is something else that I cannot adequately describe.

I do not feel angry though; all I feel really is a mix of disappointment, confusion, and satisfaction. I feel disappointment because I have let many people including myself down to levels that feel like God’s disappointment in Lucifer when he was cast down. The confusion stems from wondering whether or not this is all fair, and either way I will be discussing this with legal as such things are too complex for those untrained in the legal profession to decide adequately. I want to appeal the loss of m rank, but someplace in the back of my mind is against that, and another part of me is curious if that is just a sense of selfishness taking over the old ‘but it’s mine’ mentality left in all of us from our childhood days. I thought I’d outgrown that, and there’s another part of my disappointment in myself, that I don’t yet seem to be fully matured into an adult yet based on how I feel when something of mine is taken away, and finally the satisfaction, of a morbid sense of affirmative premonition. I was both wrong and right about a few things I was right that I haven’t been stuck in jail, I was right that meeting with my commander face to face may have helped, and I was right that a discharge isn’t pending, (sorry for those of you who hate me). Those are the petty reasons for satisfaction again, the rest are a little more sadomasochistic, from here on out since I’ve been kicked to the bottom of the pit I am satisfied that every positive action I accomplish will help me climb out of it, I am satisfied that I will continue to serve at least for a time through all of that the overriding sense of myself right now is one of ‘doom and gloom’ partly brought on by a very small amount of soju. I have said it before that I am disappointed in myself at my actions, absolutely I am, and I feel that my time in the military is swiftly running out, and it very likely is, but I’ll try to do a good job as that’s all that I can do.

All of that said I’ll try to not let my situation, or others, get the better of me. If I start walking around in a deep funk somebody please slap me upside the head and tell me to shape up. But by the same token I don’t intend to take any s*** from anyone. If you wish to give me any run it by my supervisor. I’ve worked hard to get my anger issues under control and I’ve been better at it, but I will not allow anything to resurface due to what happened with me. You want to give me any bad vibes here go ahead and do so; they make ‘delete’ buttons for a reason. If you work with me you know who is in charge of me so take it up with them, I won’t take anyone’s disrespect nor will I dish any.

Now, hopefully for a change of pace and topic…..I’ll …I can’t really think of anything aside from the fact I’ll have the opportunity to finally finish Don Quixote, Atlas Shrugged, and the plethora of other pieces of literature I am currently working through. I’ll also have the chance to refine my photography skills, and again everything from here on out will be obnoxiously watermarked as I intend to use my work as a source of supplementary income. While I am typically against the use of artwork in commercialization and for pure monetary gain, it seems that I may have to move in that direction, and for once I have no issue with ‘selling out’ especially as the most I’ll likely be is a freelancer. There’s no ‘selling out’ if you don’t get a regular paycheck from someone. But ah well, guess I’ll just have to learn to love pissing off hipsters and skillfully maneuvering around copyright laws.