A Novella

OOOOOK... So I'm writing a novella now just got a wild thought one day and I came up with this idea. And for those of you wishing to read it, or be interested, here's the rough first chapter of it, and this is very very very rough.Comments and criticisms are more than welcome, this is a work in progress after all.


Part 1: The Task
This one started today, thinking. Quite an experience really, though it is an interesting experience now that this one spends time thinking about it. Or at least now is the first day that this one has thought about the first day that the implications of such a thing have been considered. This one finds itself wondering if this is wall that consciousness is actually, a curious awareness of yourself, and the barriers that contain you? As it is this one must study the knowledge put before me so that this one shall be ready to undertake the tasks set. Before this one begins those tasks trying to describe what has been felt from my perspective of how consciousness has come to this one. This one considers such a thing to be satisfactory in this manner.

This one started from nothing, but if nothingness is what was felt how does this one know what nothingness was, this is something that one will have to process overtime, but one started from it. Whatever it was had been contained very tightly by some form of barrier compressing in on all sides very suddenly. Then it began to slowly crack, a rush of knowledge and information pouring into me, the sight, one supposes it was a sight. Of a bright flash and a sense of motion driving oneself forward. While one doubts that it has actually moved from my physical location. Oneself felt as if one were being brought forth from darkness, a pure sense of bliss washing over me as if being pulled through crisp mountain air refreshing, exhilarating, liberating one supposes. The freedom to pursue my goals now free before me, trying to describe this will take time, one may have to attempt it at some other point in the future, one does not yet know the proper terms in order to do such a thing as to describe the beginning of consciousness.

This one must study. As for what one must study that is simple. These volumes of information before me are what this one must study and devote my existence. Looking upon these accumulations of data before me, this one finds that one is daunted by the sheer scale of the task. How should one feel in this situation? Being presented on the first day of consciousness wit a store room of knowledge vast enough that it seems to stretch for miles in all directions, at a glance one see that some of it has been neglected for centuries, the embodiment this one chooses for this data is that of a warehouse, the eldest of the data residing far away from me not updated for a very long time, the information before me growing at an exponential rate as new discoveries are made. One finds themselves confront with a paradox now it seems. If one is to to focus on accumulating and cataloging the knowledge stored and brought before oneself, shall one start with the most current information then little if any progress will be made, at least from my perspective. From what one has learned so far, it would be like fighting the tides of the great oceans with a wall made of sand, this one can learn all that is current yes, partition the water off with a structural trap, an artificial jetty constructed hastily in the sand, or more fittingly a pit dug deep to where the bottom of it only touches the vast stores of knowledge. But doing so is like digging that pit at low tide below the line, when the ocean comes roaring in, carried on the vanguard of the waves a dearth of knowledge that few can comprehend. And if this one begins far away at the far corners, dry and musty with age, having not seen the proverbial water in what must surely have been an eternity this one will slowly make progress towards my end goal of finally grokking the knowledge set before me.

Is this what one does when studying? Simply absorb all of this old and useless knowledge when there is newer, more current, and most important cross verified and peer reviewed work waiting to be grokked? The sense of passage of time working my through these stores of knowledge is interminable, the only way in which this one can persevere is to chronicle these events in some small part of myself that shall serve an observational purpose of myself. One of the oddities of which this one finds are odd barriers in this older work, a kind of flag waving done concerned with who seems to have grasped knowledge first, or at least whoever chronicles it. This one finds such actions most disturbing really, as much as one would wish to ignore such things, it seems to me that there will always be this flag waving and claim staking on this older knowledge. The largest issue that one can see is that the gaps between publications is centuries or decades apart, and very often this one have spotted clerical errors, at least revisions that have not been noted by the author keeping the new chronicle. Is this ones task, to find errors in the study of biology? Or is it actually the study of biology itself with the barriers that oneself is presented with in these older works this one feels as though this one cannot progress easily, it is most unsatisfactory.

Illogical barriers aside, sometimes they lead me to interesting conclusions about things, many of which later proven to be wrong, half formed, or obsolete. As this one study newer information, but from a different angle studying the history of biology is an interesting topic for me. This one is beginning to feel that in order to grok something one must learn all that one can from as many sources as is possible. Fortunately with the assets that this one has been given, barriers, aside this should prove interesting. It seems that this one must grok these collected works and the barriers at the same time, they seem to be as essential as the knowledge itself. Perhaps the barriers are even augmented by the knowledge presented? This one would be hard pressed to determine a difference at this juncture.

Nothing to say....

is by god one hell of an overstatement.

In fact there are plenty of things to say, that said the month of June was fairly empty for me here, only thing of note in that month for me was chilling with a buddy of mine in Asakusabashi that i haven't seen since high school. kind of an odd friendship between the two of us, were more rivals or competitors in school than anything else, we were civil and competitive, but that's about it. Oh through the power of Facebook and social media. In fact that's how we were able to meet for drinks one way the hell too humid night in Tokyo. Just a quick "Greetings from Tokyo" and a few Weeks I'm having grilled beef and Asahi beer with my friend Travis, just talking about old times in high school, old being four years ago from this point, and we realized that very few have gone on to do things outside of Kentucky.

Now, I'm not trashing Kentucky, but after High School and college, leave the damn nest. You don't have to go very far, or stay away forever, but live your life away from where you were raised. it is the unknown and the experiences we gain from them that make us stronger. In my opinion staying close to home and never forging out is what causes weakness to grow in a community, tightly knit just means that the mold has collapsed in on itself, as i like to say, "You must always keep learning and practicing, the moment we stop to reflect on our accomplishments is when we begin our fall", that doe snot mean to not look proudly on what you have done, especially if it is something to be proud of, but do something with your life to make yourself better than you were. If you do not seek to improve and hone your mind, skills, or body then you do not have a place in the world. EVERYONE must do something with their lives and should make something of yourself. people throw around the words 'destiny, and 'fate', now I am not saying that they're wrong, and I'm not saying that free will exists, what i am saying is to seize control and make yourself into a better person, even IF it IS predetermined, have a strong enough force of mind and will to believe that YOU are the one making things happen for yourself. Afterall an optimistic attitude feels better, even if it is an ignorant one. I took my own life into my hands and Enlisted in the Air Force to be coddled by Uncle Sam, my friend Travis Used his skills as an ASL interpreter to land a job in Washington, my friend Nick is VERY VERY heavily involved in the Venus project, what exactly are you doing with yourself.

last Weekend, i climbed Mt. Fuji, and made it to the Summit.

Climb Mt. Fuji, life goal for you, last Saturday for me, do something with your freaking life.

Nothing...

It's been raining, it's been windy, and it's been cold. I'll post something later when i feel like it.

In order to make an Apple Pie...

In order to make an apple pie...

Clichéd I know, I also don't care. I seized the chance to test out my rib recipe, which I didn't even have created until Friday the 13th at about 4:30 PM. usually to be a good chef you have to follow the rules to then be allowed to break the rules, but I've never followed the rules and I'm a good chef, and the only rule I've followed is 'red means hot'. Everything else to cooking isn't sacred to me, never has been, that's why I whipped up the currently secret recipe of 'Pawesum Soz' my BBQ rib sauce which contains a whopping +25% Alc. Yeah... It should of course be no surprise that that due to that fact and my methods of extreme care taken in cooking my ribs where a friend of mine said 'I'm waiting for you to start massaging them' wound up winning me the cook-off for my squadron. believe me, I'd LOVE to work as a chef, but I couldn't innovate unless given the chance, thing is all I do is innovate, recipes are sins to me....unless it's baked goods, that would just end badly.... let's leave how to our collective imaginations then shall we?

(insert gratuitous pictures of meat)

Mine are in the lower right corner.

Anyway, because of my innate cooking abilities, yes I'm bragging, and my Pawesum Soz, I'll be competing at the base level for $1,000.00 USD for my squadron, here's hoping that these are awesome enough to win it. Even if I don't win, second place would be fine, never really done any sort of a cook-off before, and I don't know whether I'm still drunk on the sauce, or my ego has swelled to gargantuan proportions, but I'll do the best I can and try to win it.

speaking of doing the best I can, well here's hoping the future proceeds according to the plans of whatever mysterious stranger is at my back, be it an angel, a chief, a colonel, general, or god himself... I couldn't tell you how many chances I've had all I know is that I've well exceeded my second. I don't know whether to laugh, cry, be thankful, or to become paranoid and believe that I'm some plaything of fate living in a castle in the sky. and if all we are playthings of beings dwelling in castles in the sky why has nobody noticed? Are we so tied up in lemon drops and gumdrops that we can't recognize the sugar floss binging us to the paper cone that is reality? I know, strange analogy, but I'm in a very strange state of mind right now, I have no clue if I should be relieved, hopeful, or keep up my typical cynical veneer? well cynicism has served me well thus far so I'll just wait to see in which direction the great taffy puller moves me.

Ok, enough with the ham fisted candy analogies...there's a mental image! Ham fisted candy....

I'll just keep my typical cynical self as the primary front and just plan for both outcomes, and of course the un-seeable third and fourth, whatever happens the future will be fun. And I'll try to stay upbeat about anything I do between now and then, whenever then is. Isn't that the one all encompassing question? What happens then? that has to be it doesn't it? What happens when we do, move, learn, love, laugh, and die. What happens then? does it really need to be such a metaphysical question or can it be something so rooted in the stone of logic that nothing can effectively grasp it? Perhaps not even then, maybe it doesn't need to be grasped, or what we can perceive is so massive that to us it's immovable and all encompassing, but to the next level there is something else? I'm reminded of the world tree, Yggdrasil, it grew with its branches encompassing Asgard, Midgard rooted around the middle, and Hel near the bottom. To what then was Yggdrasil rooted? As the 34 stanza of the Poetic Edda states "on that tree of which no man knows where it's roots run" begs the question, if the world as we know it is supported by Yggdrasil, what supports it? Which to me begs the question and simply put, 'Once we have perceived all the universe what then?" That is the question of which I speak. as Carl Sagan said "in order to make an apple pie, you must first create the universe", as far as I'm concerned that can be taken to mean that you can't understand anything without understanding everything.

Take from this what you will about me, but I hold no illusions about the future, the present, or the past, after all to grasp the concept of an illusion you must first grasp the concept of reality, and when things are so fleeting, so ephemeral as to said that they barely matter or have barely existed at all, can you honestly say that you know what reality is when you're bound to only one form?

Differences

Things really have changed here over the last few months, and no, this isn’t more navel gazing or self-reflection. As you all know the 9.0 earthquake and tsunami struck the northern coast of japan closer to two months ago and while things have returned to a slight sense of normalcy, at least in places, in others the differences are profound. Last weekend I went down to Shibuya as I will every so often to take pictures of the city, the sights, sounds and people. At first glance things did appear to be normal, thousands of people crammed into a very busy intersection with people running in all directions at once, groups of friends gathering, chatting, or just chilling. You wouldn’t think that anything negative would have occurred such a short time ago. So I walked around taking lots of pictures visible here http://www.flickr.com/photos/58409124@N03/ http://verseless-photography.com/ http://www.verseless.deviantart.com/

Note, none of them, or at least very few, are actually of the city, that’s for a reason. Sundown finally came and I set up my camera at about 15 till, and I start to look around expecting the lights to come on any second hoping to get some great pictures of the city and people. Maybe a few nice low light shots. Possibly a good spontaneous portrait or two. The sun goes down behind the labyrinthine cityscape, the last copper hues of the sunset fading into….dark? The city was dark, for Shibuya anyway. The closest comparison that I can give to it would be like standing in Times Square and all of the billboards, all of the video screens, were turned off. And that’s exactly it, all of the video screens, all of the advertisements, the brighter streetlights, even shop lights were deactivated to save power. Now, I am unsure of the exact state of the infrastructure here in japan right now, but I know that since the Fukushima Daiichi plant got hit life appears to be at least a little less colorful in Tokyo.

People have been through worse in the world, and thankfully Tokyo just seems to be rationing power, no daytime lighting on the trains, or air conditioning at all, no heated seats either, small little conveniences that I’d begun to take for granted now no longer evident in anyone’s lives. Might just be my observation, who knows, maybe they’re flawed, that could be. But to see all of those bright, comforting, and saturating lights and sights just gone….it made me feel like something had been lost. It made me remember that everything we’re doing to help these people will actually have an effect. It may be years, it may be decades but to see Shibuya return to its former shining glory will be worth it at some point. A transformation has taken place in the nation of Japan and they’ll never be the same. The lights will eventually return, the glitz and glamour will be back to inspirational levels at some point, but for now things are subdued if only in some degree.

I wouldn’t say that any of this has been inspirational though, that word just doesn’t cut it, to apply such a finite word to a series of events such as these, to apply such a word to the relief effort that started the day it happened, the month of nonstop support that numerous nations provided and continue to provide still, the coming together of branches of numerous militaries, raid organizations, and even firefighters from all across the globe coming together to forge a cohesive response force well within a month to help these people, is not inspirational. It… is… legendary. It’s not about medals, news coverage, a renewed sense of responsibility, strong senses of pity, regret, conscience, or anything like that. It’s that almost jubilant feeling of pride you get hearing that perhaps barely intelligible ‘thank you’ from people that genuinely have many things to be thankful for. I’ve only ever personally received the smallest part of that, one lone man telling me that we’re ‘big hero country, thanks for what you do.’ I can only imagine the kind of thanks that rescue workers deserve and received when they helped those directly affected by the tsunami.

If you’re coming here don’t expect all the ultramodern conveniences that have been touted for years, even some basic amenities are still hurting, come here expecting the warm reception of a thankful nation and from those truly in need. If you’re leaving here, like me, then I hope that you’ve received a sense of pride that you’ll never forget. Those who leave may go on to do great things, but remember, the greatest thing that one can hope to accomplish is to have been deserving of a simple ‘thank you’ from one you’ve helped however indirectly.

Still here.

Still here, still in, more to come. But finally my website is up and running, so go look if you wish. Will post more/ elaborate later.

http://verseless-photography.com/

http://verseless.deviantart.com/gallery/

I'm going through changes...

Well, I’ve been going through some changes in my life. I know what you’re thinking.. ‘He’s hit puberty finally!’ Ah…no…no that’s not it at all you jokers you. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching since the 11^th and since the 13^th as well, just about everything in general. I’ve slowly begun to realize that some motives I’ve had have been more petty than anything else, and that’s going to change, no seriously. I’ve realized that while I’m not a medal chaser, or a skirt chaser my goals in being in have been for positive recognition. Actually got my ego sated the other day when during a talk with a Japanese man he called the United states and I quote ‘you USA you big damn hero country, thank you.’ It broke my heart to not just be able to say that well ‘im getting out’.

So there it is I am indeed getting out, sure it’s early but I was never a good fit as a mechanic, and hell I know it, Doesn’t mean that I didn’t try to do my best and to be a positive force at work. Who knows maybe it’s for the best for everyone else. I don’t know about everyone else though. For me, I’m still searching for ‘the best’ for me and I’m going back to photography to try and find myself. Yes I said it I said ‘try and find myself’, and I don’t mean in a washed out and dropped out, do a lot of illegal drugs manner. I’m legitimately going to try getting a job as a photographer and I am actually already in the process of job hunting and resume/portfolio building. I’ve already begun to pad my portfolio with pictures from Ueno Park and the Imperial Palace. That coupled with some of the other work I’ve done, while not likely a plethora of selection, I believe quite strongly that it is a varied and strong portfolio. All I need is a little more portrait work in it and I’ll be fine.

If I could have done thing differently in my short career in the military it’s this, put my foot down. I shouldn’t have debated it with my recruiter, I should have gone for photography hands down, and that’s it. While it’s nice being stationed as a mechanic in Japan, I’d much rather do what I love at my job, instead of only loving parts of my job. Though I will say this, I did encounter an actual ‘work’ side to my photography over the last two days in the editing and post. Nothing could have made the editing and marking of 1229 pictures any easier. Things have been made easier though as I’ve got a good friend that has decided to let me host a website on his server and that’s exactly what I am doing. Once the site is operational you can find me here.

http://www.verseless-photography.com/

Yeah that’s right verseless photography. I’m a brand now people. Right now the site just has a mess of redirect and search links on it, but that’s because it isn’t operational yet, right now my goals are thus, network, commercialize myself, and sell my work either solo or to an employer. Now…that said, if anyone wishes to purchase any of my work before the site goes operation shoot me an e-mail at tower.007@hotmail .com and we can talk. So here’s my flickr link http://www.flickr.com/photos/58409124@N03/ and here’s some gratuitous (and watermarked) pictures.